2020 came through wrecking relationships, and if we’re honest, some of ’em needed to be wrecked. Cancel culture reigned and, since then, it’s become a way of life for a lot of people. Think about how quickly you cut people off and how much you brag about it afterward. I used to be the same way…until I realized that true friendship is worth fighting for.
Yep. True friendship is worth fighting for.
But that doesn’t mean it’s easy or that you don’t want to give up from time to time. It doesn’t mean that hard things don’t happen or that you don’t have a right to have hurt feelings. It just means that sometimes the people who matter most to you have the greatest power to hurt you. So what do you do?
You remember that love covers. Do not hear me say that love covers up. Hear me say that love covers cancel culture in grace. 1 Peter 4:8 is one of my favorite verses in the entire world. It tells us, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” When you allow love to cover a multitude of wrongs and sins that someone has committed against you, you choose to give them the benefit of the doubt. You choose to acknowledge that hurt people hurt people. You choose to see the negative environment that’s been influencing them or the depression that’s been clouding their ability to see you for who you are. You choose to pray for them. You choose to have a conversation with them about what you’re feeling.
1 Peter 4:8 does not tell us to put ourselves in situations that will hurt us or allow someone to take advantage of us and continue to demean our value. It does show us how to leave a friendship, though.
You don’t always have to walk away from a friendship, angry, bitter, and jealous. In fact, I hope you don’t. You can choose to walk away from a friendship with gratitude for the great memories and the positive lessons you learned as a result of it. You can leave a friendship with peace and continue to pray for them, without any bad feelings. It takes work, but it’s doable, and more importantly, it’s blessed!
You’re not going to keep every friendship you’ve ever had.
Some friendships are for a reason. Some are for a season, and some are for a lifetime.
But, you can always look back on them with a greater appreciation for who you have become since then if you let God’s love cover that situation.
How do you know if it’s time to move on from a friendship or if it’s one you’re meant to fight for?
Remember that relationships are reciprocal, and if you’ve done what you can to be open, present, and supportive for your friend more than once, but they just haven’t returned those feelings or shown a willingness to do so, it may be best to let it fade away. However, if your friend is acting out of character, I recommend having a conversation with them before you move on. If they’ve begun to act strangely, it could just be because of something they’re going through. Is it your time to show up for them? Is it your time to pray for them? Ask them what’s up. Remember, not everything is about us. Whether you feel led to fight for that friendship or free yourself from it, I hope you know that moving on doesn’t mean you don’t pray for them. Moving on doesn’t mean you don’t celebrate them or support them from a distance. Moving on just means that the season or the reason is over, and that. is. okay.
I love you, and I’m praying for your discernment in your friendships. I’m praying you know which ones to fight for and which ones to grow free from.