By Tiffany Day, BSW, MSMHC

For this month, I want to shift the focus off of being a mom and focus on you as a person, outside of your titles, roles, and responsibilities. I want to speak to the woman in you. I want to talk about how we have the ability to conquer an issue in one moment and, later, find ourselves stumbling over that very thing. Let’s talk about how that can and will bring guilt. 

Guilt is defined as the fact of having committed a specific crime or implied offense or crime. It’s defined as a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined. Have you ever been in a place where everything is good? You know that place. You’re on point in your life, your bills are paid, you’re walking in obedience, and you feel that you are doing what you suppose to do and God is well pleased. Now, let me ask: have you ever been in a place where everything is good and then it happens, that thing rises up in you. You know: that thing you thought you conquered, that thing which made you fall flat on your face in your walk with God in the first place. Get that thing in your mind. That thing could be anything from fornication, to over eating, to over spending, to breaking a commitment that you made with God and self, or breaking another promise to your child, and running yourself ragged that you are not present as a mother. That thing could be the lie rising up within you to make you feel as if you failed as a parent when it comes to your adult kids. 

When that thing settles in, the enemy has you in a place of guilt. If you are anything like me you feel condemned, you become depressed, and your anxiety level goes through the roof. You become stagnate in your walk with God and in your walk of life, even as a parent. The hard part is, once guilt settles in, you think worse of yourself, and you also believe God thinks the worse of you…..It’s a hard place.

Psych Central reports:

Guilt is known as the crippling emotion. Guilt is frequently viewed as a virtue, as a high sense of responsibility and morality. The truth however is that guilt is the greatest destroyer of emotional energy. It leaves you feeling immobilized in the present by something that has ALREADY occurred. 

Let’s pause right there. When guilt settles in, you lose precious time and energy over something that has already happened. Your guilty feelings do not mean I WILL NOT change what has already happened. We know we can ask God for forgiveness and move forward, but that can be difficult. Oftentimes, it’s the fact that we have the problem forgiving ourselves which keeps us wrapped up in that guilt. 

The New International Version of the Bible tells us in Romans 8:1, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus Christ.” Romans 3:23 continues to say, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” 1 John 1:9 states, “If we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us or sins and to cleanse us form all unrighteousness.”

These are just a few scriptures concerning defeating guilt…USE THEM!! Let them wash over you and renew your mind. And when that situation occurs again, BECAUSE IT WILL, reflect back and make a different, wiser choice. That my love is what is deemed as growth.